OPERATION: DATE ESCAPE Read online

  She answered it as she made her way to the fridge. “Hello?”

  “You’re still there,” her mother said excitedly. “I’m so glad I caught you before you left for work.”

  Oh, God, she should have run out the door. She of all people knew what it meant when her mother used that sugary-sweet tone with her. “Look, Mom—” she began as she grabbed a bottle of apple juice from the fridge.

  “Just give me a sec,” her mother said, cutting her off. “I know you have to get to work. I just wanted to call and see what you’re doing this evening. Any plans?”

  Kelsie hesitated, knowing what she wanted to say. She pushed the fridge door shut and twisted the plastic cap on the juice bottle. “No,” she answered with a sigh.

  “I was hoping you’d say that. Well, you do now.”

  “I do?” Damn. Yes was all she’d had to say and this discussion wouldn’t be continuing. What was with her not being able to lie to her mother? It would have only been a small one.

  “Yes. I met the nicest man at Lowe’s last night.”

  “Lowe’s? As in the hardware store?”

  “Where else?” her mother replied as if she visited that kind of a store all the time. “I was thinking-”

  “Mom, I really need to get going.”

  “Okay, I’ll be quick. As I was saying, I was thinking the other day about places to go to find good men. That’s when I realized I’d missed a prime spot for single men who are good with their hands.”

  “So you went to a hardware store?”

  “Home improvement center, honey. There’s a difference.”

  “Mom…” she pleaded.

  “I know what you’re thinking, but you really need to give this young man a chance. You never know when you’re going to meet Mr. Right.”

  Try never.

  “Forget it, Mom. I’m still getting over the last blind date you fixed me up with. Mr. Muscle Car. You remember him, don’t you?”

  “Sorry about that. He seemed so nice when I was talking to him.”

  “You met the guy when he changed your oil, which means he was under your hood for most of the ten minutes you were with him.”

  “Okay, so we didn’t talk much. He had a nice smile,” her mother said in her own defense. “I know how important that is to you, being a hygienist and all.”

  “Kyle had a nice smile,” she told her mother. “And he turned out to be a slithering snake.”

  “This one’s better. I swear. His name is Cornelius.”

  Cornelius? It wasn’t exactly the kind of name she could envision herself crying out in the throes of passion. Not that her life had any of that going on lately.

  No doubt afraid she was losing her daughter’s interest, Melinda Collins quickly added, “Cornelius is an accountant for The Limited’s corporate office here in Columbus. That means he’s financially stable.”

  Kelsie slung her purse over her shoulder and dug for her keys. “Money isn’t everything.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ve already done a background check on him on the internet. Oh and did I mention that he still has all his hair.”

  “Mom…”

  Then it came. That long moment of silence meant to guilt children into doing their parent’s bidding. And sure enough, she was caving. Her mother had given up so much in her life to raise her alone. What was one more blind date? Besides, there was still research to be had for her dating survival guide.

  “Fine. I’ll do it. What time?”

  “Seven o’clock. And dress casual. He mentioned something about taking you rollerblading.”

  “Rollerblading?” she shrieked. “I’ve never been on in-line skates in my life.”

  “Guess you’ll have to hold on to your date’s arm really tight then. Have fun!”

  “Mom—”

  There was a resounding click on the other end of the line, followed by the hum of a dial tone as her mother made her escape the cowardly way.

  Kelsie returned the phone to its cradle and muttered a colorful array of curses as she hurried out the door to work. She’d done it again; let her mother talk her into suffering through what was pretty much guaranteed to be another bad date. This time with a man named Cornelius.

  *

  “Cornelius?” Nanci snorted as she followed Kelsie in through the back entrance of the Victorian two-story that had been converted into a state-of-the-art cosmetic dental office. The door hadn’t even closed behind them before Nanci dissolved into an uncontrollable fit of the giggles.

  “Don’t start,” Kelsie warned as they made their way to the front desk where their patient files for the day awaited them. “I’m having caffeine withdrawal right now.”

  “Whose fault is that?”

  “I know. I never should have answered the phone.”

  “Don’t be too hard on yourself. You and I both know that your mom would have just come by here to tell you if she hadn’t of reached you this morning.”

  She shook her head with a frown. “I love my mother, but sometimes she can really drive me crazy.”

  “Morning, girls,” Dr. Andy greeted with a bright, dentistry-perfected smile as he stepped from his office, finishing off what was left of a multi-grain bagel smothered in strawberry jam. His usual morning indulgence.

  “Good morning,” Nanci chirped.

  “Morning,” Kelsie said, leaving off the ‘good’ because hers had been anything but.

  He pointed down the hall. “There’s a fresh pot of coffee in the break room.”

  “You made it?” Nanci said in surprise.

  He laughed. “Don’t sound so shocked.”

  “You’re a lifesaver,” Kelsie replied with a grateful smile. “I could really use the caffeine today.”

  He walked over to the sink to wash his hands. “I take it your mom’s been playing matchmaker again?”

  “You guessed right,” her friend answered for her.

  Kelsie pulled her hair back into a ponytail. “Don’t remind me,” she told them as she twisted the ponytail holder around the gathered strands.

  “I feel for you,” Dr. Andy admitted as he dried his hands.

  “Thanks.” Everyone in the office knew about her mother’s determination to help her find Mr. Perfect, a man who didn’t exist.

  “Don’t feel too bad for her,” Nanci announced with a grin. “She has a hot date tonight with a man named after a famous movie star.”

  Kelsie looked at her friend questioningly.

  “Movie ape,” Nanci corrected.

  Dr. Andy’s gaze shifted her direction. “What?”

  Kelsie released a long sigh. “His name is Cornelius. What could his parents have been thinking?”

  “Must have been fans of Planet of the Apes,” Nanci said with a grin.

  “Some friend you are,” she said with a frown, “reveling in my misery.”

  “Ah, come on, Kels,” her friend replied. “You know my heart goes out to you.” The sincerity of her friend’s words was quickly diminished by the snort of laughter that followed them.

  “Gee, thanks,”

  “Just think,” Dr. Andy added, his toothy grin widening, “if you end up marrying this guy, his pet name can be Corny and the two of you can have lots of little niblets together.”

  So much for sympathy.

  “And to think you gave up the chance at fame on the comedy circuit to pursue dentistry,” she called out as he walked away. Dr. Andy disappeared into his office, closing the door behind him.

  She turned to Nanci. “I’m so glad you two get so much enjoyment from my misery.”

  “Don’t mention it,” she replied as she pulled her rainbow-print uniform top on over her shirt. “That’s what friends are for.”

  “I wasn’t thanking you for being a pain in my ass.” Kelsie reached for her work smock that hung from one of several brass hooks by the office door. Shoving her arms into the sleeves, she added, “I suppose this is what I get for being dumb enough to answer my mother’s call this morning.”


  Both women scooped up their stack of patient charts for the day and then headed over to grab a handful of individually wrapped toothbrushes from the supply cabinet.

  “I have to admit I’m a little surprised you did,” Nanci said. “I would’ve thought you’d know better by now.”

  “Yeah, but like you said she would have hunted me down anyway. Can you believe my mother actually told this guy I would go in-line skating with him?”

  Her friend’s head snapped around. “She did what?”

  “That was my reaction, too. I mean we’re talking me here. Her daughter with two left feet. No doubt about it, I’m going to break my neck.” She started in the direction of her room.

  “Or at the very least a leg,” her friend called out behind her.

  Kelsie froze mid-step as Nanci’s words settled into her sleep deprived mind. Break a leg. That was it! If she broke her leg that would guarantee an early end to her skate date…

  She shook her head. What was she thinking? Okay, she’d clearly moved into desperation mode. She could only blame her thoughts on a shortage of sleep combined with a lack of caffeine in her system that morning. She had to consider the pain factor involved with a broken limb. Especially since she was not one that dealt well with pain, mental or physical.

  After depositing her stack of charts into the plastic holder on the wall, she walked over and hung her day’s schedule by the door. Then she made a beeline for the break room and the freshly brewed coffee that awaited her.

  She grabbed a mug from the cupboard and filled it to the top with coffee. Bringing it to her nose, she took a moment to inhale the rich, caffeine-laden aroma, savoring it before taking a sip. “Mmm.”

  She could feel her mood lifting already. It might have buoyed even higher if it weren’t for her upcoming date with Cornelius. Mug in hand, she made her way back to her room. There had to be some way to get out of this date.

  “Think, Kelsie,” she muttered to herself. “You’re supposed to be the expert on date escapes.”

  It wasn’t until the end of her work day that it came to her. Maybe she couldn’t ‘break’ a leg. She could, however, pretend to sprain her ankle. Cornelius wouldn’t expect her to continue their skate date if she had an injured ankle.

  A slow smile spread across her face. It was the perfect plan. Now if she could only figure out a way to ‘escape’ her thoughts of a certain hunky firefighter…

  CHAPTER THREE

  The security

  intercom by the door buzzed, making Kelsie cringe. She walked over to it and pressed the button. “Hello?”

  “Uh, yeah, I’m here for Kelsie,” a male voice replied.

  He didn’t sound all that bad. No nasally whine. No feminine inflection in his voice. “I’ll be down in a sec,” she replied, feeling a lot less enthusiastic than she sounded.

  Grabbing her purse, she stepped out into the hallway and locked her apartment door before heading downstairs. She made her way to the security gate at the apartment complex’s entrance where her blind date waited.

  “Wow,” he exclaimed, giving her the once-over the second she opened the gate. “You’re better than I thought you’d be.”

  You’re not.

  Trying not to laugh as her gaze moved over him in an equally assessing manner, she managed a very forced, hopefully polite smile. What in the world had her mother been thinking when she picked this guy up?

  It wasn’t that she judged men only by their looks, but he was wearing spandex pants for God sake! And it looked like he could pull a rabbit out of the crotch of them.

  Scary.

  Well, there was no need to look any further for Cornelius’ imperfections. He was a bad dresser with the ‘package’ of a porn star.

  Yuck. So not for her.

  She forced her gaze up from what was either a male oddity or a portable pet rabbit and continued to smile at her date. “Um, Cornelius, right?”

  Just when she didn’t think it possible, his smile widened, reaching his three-inch long sideburns. Maybe he was an Elvis fan. “The one and only,” he replied with a slight bow.

  She could only hope there was just one of him. The thought of Cornelius having a twin out there somewhere in the world was more than a little unsettling.

  “I…uh, it’s nice to meet you.” Not.

  “Same here.” He looked around the complex. “Nice place.”

  Yeah, well, don’t get too used to seeing it. You won’t be back.

  “Thanks,” she managed with an inner shudder. The spandex thing was freaking her out. “Look, about our date…”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m really sorry to make you come all the way here, but this isn’t going to work.”

  Disappointment registered on his face. “Why not?”

  Maybe because you’re wearing ballet pants?

  “Because I don’t have any skates. I would’ve called to tell you, but I didn’t have your number.”

  “Not a problem,” he assured her with a wave of his hand. “Your mother mentioned that you had recently donated your roller blades to a local charity drive.”

  Funny how her mother had failed to mention that little tidbit of information when they’d spoken that morning. Apparently she’d just been teasing her about Cornelius taking her rollerblading.

  She shrugged. “Afraid so.”

  “Not a problem. That’s why I brought these.” His smile widened as he whipped a pair of in-line skates with hot pink laces out from behind his back.

  “Roller blades,” she muttered in shock as she eyed the hot pink laces.

  “Yeah, they’re my sister’s.”

  Thank God. For a moment, she wondered if they were his.

  “Your mother was nice enough to give me your skate size when I inquired. Lucky for us my sister’s feet are small like yours. She let me borrow them for our date.”

  Her mother was going to pay for this one!

  “You didn’t have to go to so much trouble,” she said as she reached for the skates he was holding out to her.

  “It was no trouble. Really. Besides, my sister can’t use them until the cast comes off.”

  “Cast?”

  He nodded. “She broke her arm rollerblading a few weeks ago at our church picnic.”

  Oh, that was reassuring.

  He pushed his glasses further up on the bridge of his nose. “So are you ready to go?”

  No!

  “As ready as I’ll ever be,” she said in resignation, wanting to get this date over with.

  A few minutes later, they were on their way to the Olengtangy Parklands. For what normally would be a short ride, it seemed to go on forever. As did Cornelius’ attempts to impress her with his knowledge of facts and numbers and his financial status. It wasn’t working.

  When they finally reached the park, he practically leapt from the car and raced around to the passenger side to open the door for her.

  At least he was a gentleman.

  “Thank you,” she said. Then her gaze drifted downward. A gentleman in spandex.

  “Something wrong?”

  Her gaze shot up to meet his. “No. I mean yes. What I mean is that I feel like I’m a little overdressed in my jeans.”

  “Don’t worry about it. There’s no dress code for skating here. Besides, you look great.” He grabbed their skates from the back seat of the freshly washed Acura and closed the door. “Take me for instance. I always wear my running pants when I roller blade. They’re both comfortable and breathable.”

  She wasn’t even going to ask what needed to breathe down there. She already knew. It was the rabbit.

  “Give me your purse,” he said, holding out his hand.

  Her eyes widened. Her mother had set her up with a purse snatcher of all things. “There’s only about ten bucks in there.” Taxi fare.

  “I’m sure it’ll be fine in the trunk while we skate.”

  “In your trunk?”

  “Unless you want to wear it. I just thought it would be easier to
skate without it.”

  She breathed a sigh of relief. Her date wasn’t a thief, just a porn star look-alike. She handed her purse over to him. “Good idea.”

  He locked it safely in the trunk of his car and then led her over to an empty park bench where they sat down and changed into their skates. Just her luck, they fit.

  “Do you need help up?” Cornelius asked as he stood and pivoted to face her.

  “No, thanks. I’m fine.”

  But her attempt to get to her feet and remain there proved otherwise. Three seat drops onto the park bench, and one aching ass later, she finally succeeded in remaining upright on her skates.

  “Way to go, Kelsie. Way to go,” her date chanted, loud enough to draw several curious looks from passersby.

  Could the evening get any worse? That question was answered a few minutes later when she pretended to twist her ankle. The fall itself hadn’t been planned, but she used it to her advantage, adding a few moans and groans that would have made any Hollywood actress proud.

  Her date turned and skated back to her. “Are you all right?”

  “No,” she gasped. “I twisted my ankle.”

  He knelt down beside her with a worried frown and began untying her skate. “Let’s get this off and have a look.”

  She didn’t want his hands on her, but she wanted out of their date more. So she sat holding her breath while Cornelius removed her skate and examined her ‘injured’ ankle.

  “It doesn’t appear to be swelling…”

  “Uh, well, I’m lucky that way. I come from a long line of non-swellers.”

  He looked up at her questioningly.

  “Good genetics,” she explained with a sweet smile. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. I just need to go home and prop it up for a while.”

  “Good genetics or not, I wouldn’t feel right just taking you home without having your ankle checked out first.”

  And that was that. Cornelius helped her back to his car and then grabbed her purse from the trunk, handing it to her.

  That’s what she got for being such a good actress. She’d been so convincing that her date made a beeline for the emergency room at Riverside Methodist Hospital.